


Breaking things

by dreamerinheaven



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, Ficlet, How Do I Tag, I'm Sorry, M/M, Pining, Pining!Alec, Pre-Relationship, Season/Series 01, but also fluff, sad!Alec
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-27
Updated: 2018-06-27
Packaged: 2019-05-29 14:44:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15075386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreamerinheaven/pseuds/dreamerinheaven
Summary: Magnus Bane was easily the most beautiful man he’s ever met and that terrifed him.





	Breaking things

**Author's Note:**

> Just a little something I came up with. Plays out somewhere in s1 pre-wedding. Very angst-y and basically just Alec swooning over Magnus so - angst-y fluff? so be warned if that’s not your cup of tea.
> 
> Also posted on my tumblr @eternallymalec

To put it plain and simple, Alec wasn’t used to people noticing him. Especially not when he was with Jace and Izzy.

So the way Magnus Bane kept looking at him felt a little bit like an adrenaline rush, even though he wouldn’t admit to that if his life depended on it (or that he may or may not decided to lose his shirt during training because Magnus was about to come to the institute).

It also didn’t help that Magnus was so damn  _gorgeous_.

Again, nothing that Alec would ever say out loud, not even to Izzy, but within the safety of his own mind, in the middle of the night, sitting alone on the roof of the institute? Yes, there, he could admit to that.

Magnus Bane was easily the most beautiful man he’s ever met and that terrifed him. It terrifed him because one thing was for sure: what he felt right now for Magnus? He sure as hell had never felt that for Jace.

The swooning feeling in his stomach like he had just missed a couple of steps whenever the other man’s name fell, the warm buzzing under his skin that night when he had given his strength to Magnus to save Luke, that fleeting, but strong thought of  _please stay there_ when Magnus had collapsed against his chest, his hand still in Alecs own and his brown eyes so warm and trusting, seemingly looking right into his soul and a part of Alec had wanted to rip himself open and say  _this is all of me,please don’t hate me. Please keep looking at me like this._

His ever stumbling heart when Magnus spoke to him and the way he seemed to forget how to speak english because Magnus made him feel things he hadn’t even considered possible before. 

And the pain when he remembered that he could never have any of the things he secretely dreamed about. 

His eyes burned from unshed tears and he forced himself to take a deep breath and then another and another until he stopped feeling like he was about to cry like a child.

These dreams just weren’t for him and they never would be and he should accept that.

He was a Lightwood after all. Breaking things and accepting the consequences was what he was supposed to do.

Even if it was his own heart.


End file.
